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Two Ways in Which I Wished I was Commuting Again
That’s right. From time to time I wish I was one of those millions of moms who rush around in the morning like a chicken with their head cut off trying to get kids out the door to school, one to the daycare and herself to work on time.
Why I tend to let my mind wander on to these things is anyone’s guess but I’m pretty certain it has something to do with time and money.
There have been many posts from other wahms like me spinning tales that it’s not easy, doing what we do so I’m not going to go on about that.
For the second week in a row, I’m looking at a weekend without being paid. You see, I’m waiting on payment from a client. Normally, I don’t get bent about it because I know it will come but my patience is beginning to wear thin this time. I know it’s stress, I know it is but here’s my stress:
Two kids out of four with bad coughs and sore throats. Had I been paid, I could have gotten them in to be checked out yesterday at the clinic or at the very least, something for their cough and throat. I’m supposed to see my sister tomorrow and with the boys possibly being contagious, I won’t be bringing along the troops because we can’t afford to expose my niece to any unnecessary bugs. Top that off with me probably being next on the infirmary list and my visit will be short of “Hi. Thanks! Bye,” when I’d really love to visit longer. I can’t blame the client for the kids getting sick - definitely not. But I can be upset that this is the second time in a row where everyone it seems has taken off to do their own thing and forgotten they do have to pay the people that work for them. It’s frustrating to say the least.
If I weren’t a wahm, I’d be back in the corporate world, with companies that have benefits, 401Ks, and a payroll department that takes my time every week (which I submit to them) and pays regularly along with all of the other employees. In this economy though, those jobs are becoming fewer and farther between and everyday you hear of companies closing up shop with little or no notice to the employees. So I could be just as bad off as I am right now.
Then there is time. I’ve talked before about clients that don’t seem to understand when I’m off the clock. This is more my fault for not putting my foot down more. I admit to being a workaholic. If I’m involved in a project that I enjoy, I’ll put in all sorts of crazy hours. If I weren’t a wahm, I’d be shutting down the computer and clocking out at 4PM or 5PM like a lot of my other mom friends. Instead I get up at 7am, get the kids off to school, try to put in an hour or two of cleaning up, then I sit down, work, network, juggle all kinds of freelance balls, take a break, get lunch, play with Peanut and then go back to work until the other kids get home. Then it ’s another break until everyone goes to bed. I might tweet, skype chat and talk some business, but I don’t do much in the lines of “work” until after everyone goes down for the night. Then I might be back at it until 1AM or later. I need to be more clear with clients as to when they can reach me - just because home is the office, doesn’t mean I need to be available all the time. I need to go back to highschool and play a little more “hard to get” with some clients.
Whether I work at home, or I’m driving back and forth to the office, it’s clear that each has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
I wouldn’t be able to drive the kids to school every day like I do now. I also wouldn’t be able to roll out of bed at 7:30 every morning. I’d be late for work every day.
The list goes on but I’m pretty sure I’d also be stuck at a job I hate too but suck it up because we need the income.
Of course I’m not going to act on my wishes and start looking for a 9-5 job; that’s crazy talk. Instead, I’m going to aim at getting the changes I need in order to continue doing what I love without all of the stress. Yes, I’m still going to think from time to time that I should hang it up but in the grand scheme of things, I know I’m better off where I am.
What about you? Do you ever wish you were making the commute again? What usually prompts you to think that way?
this work at home mom’s work day
My work day began at 7am today. When a good twitter friend and fellow wahm, ReourcefulMom tweeted that her work day was just beginning, I had already had lunch with Peanut, completed a quick task for the hubster, and was sitting down to begin the second half of my day, which consisted of writing some articles. I commented back that I was on the second part of my day.
To which she asked how I work in the AM with Peanut. It’s a good question. Some days I don’t know how I get anything done with him around but I do. My answer was flip, I admit (I do nothing that requires heavy concentration) but it’s partly true. Not every day requires heavy concentration. For instance, I cleaned out my email first thing, I vented to another twitter pal about some frustrations I was having, I had a conference call, I updated a profile and wrote out some recommendations on LinkedIn. This was an easy morning.
So not to be so offhand in my answer, not every day works out this way. In the past, I’ve rarely used a to-do list (they stress me out because if I see it and I don’t get it crossed off, I freak out) and one minute Peanut can be playing happily with his Hot Wheels, trains, or his new favorite, A V Smile that he got for his birthday and the next he clamoring into my lap, crying and whining
So how do I work in the AM or even the PM for that matter with Peanut?
Launching the ezine
I’m so excited to finally start talking about this (I mentioned it when I told you about my goals for this year)! I’ve been working at getting my blog, The Guilty Parent, from what was just me venting and talking to my readers about what it’s like to struggle with guilt, both as a mom and as a work at home parent. But I’ve always had bigger aspirations for this blog.I actually began it with the idea in mind that I would have other moms and dads joining with me and writing about being a parent that deals with the struggles and issues of raising kids. I dreamed up putting together my own ezine where the articles and information was put together by parent contributors who wanted to share information and their stories. I dreamed I’d do it in such a way that we’d learn from each other and strengthen our families, that we ‘d get rid of the feelings of not doing the best we can (when we really know we are doing the best), of feeling like we’re living up to someone else’s standards.
I’m human just like every other parent, and the thing I love about what I do is working out the issues through writing and sharing information, but I struggled with some of the things I was reading in the national parenting magazines because I didn’t always feel like they were speaking to me (again, the guilt of not being the kind of parent I felt I should be set in), and I felt like the tools for disciplining kids and getting them to behave didn’t really fit me or my family (not that I have hellions… OK I do, but that’s beside the point).
I’d put it off too long and this year, I vowed that I would create the ezine that spoke to me and other parents like me.
So far, I’ve given The Guilty Parent an updated look, I’ve put a call out for contributors and even advertisers who want some exposure for their own sites and brands. I’m wishing on a prayer that there are others out there like me (I can’t really be the only one can I?) who aren’t perfect parents, who feel like they’re burning life at both ends and raising kids gets tougher as our world keeps changing.
If you’re one of those parents who’d like to contribute or you’d like to advertise, email me: guiltyparents at gmail dot com
My goal in creating this ezine is simply to make our job easier (and more fun) by sharing information and learning from one another.
A Year of chaos (my year in review)
Oh wow. What a difference a year makes right?
I didn’t actually think that my year would have such wonderful and tragic surprises. However, life never seems to amaze me.
It’s taken me awhile to get this post going though and I’m not sure if it has more to do with not wanting to look back on some of the more sad and negative or because listing everything really solidifies that 2008 is really over and I’m again facing new and uncharted territory.
Probably both. I hate seeing things that are sad or negative and I have a huge fear of the unknown. If I were a superhero, I’d choose the ability to see the future.
I started 2008 with a vengeance. I came out of the closet about my frustration with another freelance writer who was dragging feet about paying up.
In February, I moved this blog to its own domain, tackled using WordPress, and I’ve never looked back or been happier. I also pondered what it takes to be a professional writer.
The battle with getting payment for my work was finally over but the mud slinging had just begun (I didn’t sling any. Don’t worry). I also got turned on to Twitter by my bloggy pal Shannan
I accompanied my son to Washington D.C. and learned that as far as teaching my kids respect for their country, the school system leaves a lot to be desired and it really is still up to me. (I’ll take that challenge too). And while that was the highest point of my 2008 thus far, I also had my lowest when my uncle, who I feel the emptiness in my world still today, passed away. And my blog celebrated an anniversary.
I tried my hand at attending Blogher virtually. It was pretty doggone cool if you ask me but this year, I’m planning on being at Blogher in the flesh (Looking for sponsors now!)
I disagreed with someone on calling out nonpaying clients. A position I still stand by. The kids went back to school and I threw a party in my head. OK so it was just Peanut and I who celebrated, but it involved chocolate and you can never go wrong with that.
I got a new job in October that I am still wrapping my head around but finally feeling I’m coming into my own a bit with it. I also introduced you to my niece Zoe. On a personal level that I haven’t shared much, I’ve been threatened with litigation if I didn’t stop sharing my personal feelings on a venue that I frequently write at. Needless to say, right now I don’t share some things or even my feelings and opinions on a particular topic.
I suppose now that I’ve read back, more good than bad happened. Yes, I still miss my uncle and I’m still saddened that I lost a friend in trying to defend my right to payment.
However, I am more excited that I can sit here today and say that already some amazing things are on the horizon. I am taking things to a new level, both personally and professionally.
The BEST NEWS OF 2008? Zoe received her heart on December 2nd. We now refer to that day as Happy Heart Day. We just celebrated our one month happy heart day anniversary and Zoe is now home in her own room. How could life not get better than that? My sister is still blogging it all, though not as much but you can read all about it at http://www.zoesheart.com
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